Finally February Fitness

The first week of this month, I started a post on my fitness goals for February, and a follow up on where I ended January. Then things kind of went to hell in a hand-basket to put it mildly. My aunt, the monkey's mimi, went into the hospital on the 1st for an infection in her knee. She was released this past Wednesday, and is doing very well. While she was there we had yet another snow storm, which caused school to be cancelled for a couple of days as we couldn't get to my mom's house. In the midst of it all, I discovered that my three new medications were what was causing me to feel so exhausted at the end of the day that I could barely lift my arms let alone complete any sort of work out that wasn't going straight to bed. Then last Thursday I was struck by my first bout of food poisoning. Stellar month? You betcha! (if you missed it, that last bit was laced with just the eensy-est of sarcasm.)

my small collection :)

My original plan was to alternate videos from my small collection with workouts from my Body Gospel program. At this point, I am still trying to figure out how to alter my schedule to fit workouts in to my day since I can't do them at 9 p.m. anymore. So I have been doing some dancing with the Michael Jackson Experience on the Wii, some basic Wii exercise, Walk Away the Pounds with Leslie Sansone, and today I did my first Body Gospel workout. I think that the track might be coming back around to me. After a conversation with a friend, I am even considering a round of P90X with her as an accountability buddy. Combined with my more regular intake of chocolate Shakeology, I really am feeling loads better.

what I am doing now alternate days

Now for the update. I know this is what you were waiting for.

Goal: Workout everyday with the Wii
Result: Completed 27 of 31 workouts
-Feeling pretty good about that still. This is the longest streak I have been able to keep up, and it was fun to do my step routines while watching most of season 4 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. :)

I have some updates to my weight loss journey as well. This is since my last measurements on December 1, 2010.

• Waist: 2.5 inches (total: 8.5 inches since August 2010)
• Hips: 1.5 inches (total: 3 inches)
• Weight: 24 pounds!!!!!! (as of 2/13/2011)
• Size: down 2 full sizes
  

Me! Down 20 pounds and 2 sizes!! :)

Mother to be or not to be?

I think God in her infinite wisdom set a variety of obstacles in my way to tell me that I am not yet ready to be the mother of 2 (or 3 if the online psychic is correct in that I will have twins next time).

My depression has been slowly growing I think since my move almost two years ago, and I finally got to the point to get on medication back in November of 2006. After a month on them, the doctor and I re-evaluated. As they really weren't working, we decided to set a date for weaning the boy and changing my meds. Well the boy is weaned (to my sorrow) and the date fast approaches for a change in my meds. I know that I need to give them a full year or so to get myself set to rights, which means my August plans are put on hold until next March.

It also isn't financially in the cards. I am having the hardest time making any of my ends meet. I am not sure how people do it, and as I don't own anything I can't file bankruptcy or get a second mortgage. I haven't saved one dime towards the cost of getting genetic father in a tube, let alone for the cost of the procedure(s).

Finally, there are the issues surrounding my indecision on having another child. I feel in my heart that there is another child out in the universe for me, but I look at my dear son & think I can't do this. I know he is two, but have mercy on me please. My mother would like me to choose a different genetic father to hopefully avoid some of his personality traits (and in the hopes of getting a girl). Then I think of the burden it would be to my mother who is my child care to take care of another child. She has said she could always say no, but I know she wouldn't. And what about the issues of intentionally choosing to raise 2 or more on my own? Can I afford it? Is it best for the children? I go round & round. I don't wonder that it is causing some of my stress and anxiety.

There is no easy answer to any of my issues I know. As a worrier by nature, I am making more out of this than is probably healthy for me or the boy. Wish I could make it all come crystal clear or my worry to become calm. Any ideas on how to make that happen?! sigh.

Lost weekend!

This is not in tribute to the tv show Lost, which I have never seen. It is due to my one full day & two nights spent with two (yes two!) two year olds.

Everything went fine with the pick-up Friday evening. Thomas is used to going places with Séamus and I. We started having issues when I started the shut down routine the boy & I have established. Séamus is required at the very least to put away his cars/trucks/tractors/trains in their little bucket before bed. I really don't want to be stepping on one of those hard metal things in the middle of the night. They REALLY hurt. Thomas kept getting them back out after the boy put them in. Then there was the struggle over getting ready for bed, followed by not wanting the tv off, and then the inevitable didn't want the light off issue. Granted, we go to bed about 2-3 hours before he normally does and his routine is much different. Still I didn't think we would have that many issues.

And then the crying because he wanted his mommy. I felt so bad for him. Between needing to snuggle him, and chasing down "I see an opportunity to play" boy it took us over an hour to get everyone asleep. Woke up at one point looking for T, and panicked since he wasn't readily visible. S sleepily told me, "Down there." T had crawled out from under the covers and was curled up with his head at the foot of the bed.

We spent the day going to get donuts & play with a friend of mimi's, going to Walmart for pedialyte & to see auntie bubba, and to the park for about 20 minutes of running around. We then headed to my mom's for real food & naps. Helped my mom around the house as much as possible before S woke up (less than 2 hours) and waited for T to wake up. Had dinner with auma (my mom) and mimi (Pam), then headed home for baths and bed.

Sunday I got two boys breakfast, which they didn't eat, before getting them dressed for church. Took longer than necessary as T coughed up a whole bunch of mucous on my clean jeans & the floor. We actually made it there precisely on time. And then disaster struck. S had a life is tragic moment meltdown. Everything set him off. We spent almost the entire service out in the foyer. He even got special mention from the pulpit a few times ("Sometimes our children cry & there is nothing we can do. Séamus we feel for you."-or something to that effect).

After church, S and I actually went home for his nap. Two hours into it, he woke up crying. I went in, got him and sat him down on my bed (read sofa sleeper) to fix his sippy of water. Gave it to him and sat down on the floor to continue my sorting project. Looked up to find him laying on the bed like he had just fallen over sound asleep with his sippy cup between his knees. Silly thing slept for 2 more hours like that. Good momma points for removing the sippy before covering him with a blanket.