Sunday, September 13, 2015

My Story

Let me preface this a bit. This story has been percolating for the last five years. It isn't complete nor does it really tell the whole story. It does give a glimpse into how I came to where I am today, and is a product of a training I am doing through Beachbody. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

Growing up I was active in dance and swimming. I rode my bike everywhere, skated or walked when the bike wasn’t feasible. I was a healthy kid. Even when puberty hit, and I got these child bearing hips I was still comfortable with who I was. Then something happened in high school. I started to be self conscious of my big butt and breasts. I felt fat. I went through two bouts of borderline anorexia. Lunch would be an apple and a small Pepsi. I wouldn't eat much more. I was depressed, and had suicidal thoughts. The raging migraines didn't help. I kept going through college where I continued to feel more insecure about my body, which wasn't helped by not ever having any dates and the belief that I wasn't attractive to the opposite sex. By the time I hit grad school in 1997, I was over 180 pounds. The year before I had my son I was at an all time high of 225, and finally worried about my weight. That was 2003 when I discovered Jazzercise, and decided to try portioned eating. In that year, I gained some of me back, and lost 25 pounds. The same 25 pounds I gained while pregnant, but because I continued with Jazzercise and my portioned eating (bbq chip craving the exception) a week after giving birth I weighed 9 pounds less than when I got pregnant. It was amazing. 
In 2005 when my son was 8 months old, I moved from an area I loved to a new job close to my family. It was a big change, and a stressful one. Four years later, I was depressed, and feeling like I had no worth at all after losing my job. It was compounded over the next year as I applied for jobs in state and out within my field, which all the job aid people told me I needed to do. There was nothing out there for me, and then in the middle of this my friend Sarah started about this awesome thing called Beachbody and an amazing drink called Shakeology. I was still unemployed, drinking soda like it was water, and gaining weight every day. Something struck me though as I continued to follow Sarah, and when she was having her second child I signed up as a coach. I was unemployed for another year, but despite the horribleness of that I know it allowed me to establish the road to a better, healthier me. It hasn't been all rosy. I struggle to stay true to my food choices, and I don't always win the battle. My weight goes up and goes down. I stress eat, and I deal with some chronic health issues that prevent me from exercising on occasion. Yet each day I make a commitment to myself and my son to continuing my fight for a healthier, longer life for both of us.  

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Pina Colada Fluff

So, the Monkey and I decided we would try several things from Pinterest. I have the ingredients for three items. We got to making one, because we had to pack him up for computer coding camp. Momma had a hard time leaving him there today, let me tell ya.

So for his last meal before living on a college campus for a week, I made him sloppy joes with fries and this pina colada fluff. He thinks even with some changes that he will still prefer green fluff (you know with pistachio pudding). I think we would drain the pineapple juice, and cut the coconut/marshmallows/pecans in half. We did make one change that would stay. Since we don't like vanilla pudding, we used white chocolate. Mmmmmm!

Monday, July 20, 2015

All shapes and sizes

My friend, Peggy, mentioned today that Beachbody coaches come in all and shapes and sizes. I will add that certified Beachbody instructors come in all shapes and sizes.

Three years ago, I was over the moon when I got certified to be a S.T.R.I.D.E. Instructor until a mean spirited person pointed out that basically they let fat people teach. Given that I was the only person in that group photo that was overweight, I knew it was directed at me. It really hit me hard. Yeah, I am not super thin or even really super fit, but I worked hard during that day. Could I do the same things as the other girls? Nope, and I still can't do quick burpees. I am an amazing dancer AND I am constantly pushing myself to improve. And isn't that what an instructor should be doing?

Just my random thoughts as I start saving to become a Cize certified instructor.

Monday, July 6, 2015

Backtrack or Follow through?

I I have been having a rough time the last three weeks. Weeks five and six of TurboFire were rocky, and in the middle of six I was slammed with a summer cold. Seriously wiped me out, and is till killing me. Week 7? I got exactly one workout in, and overslept my alarms every single day.

I wasn't eating as well as I should, but it didn't seem to matter as I have developed a digestive issue that takes 2/3 of my meals out of my system before I get all my nutrients. I have been frustrated with my self and my body.

As I was debating doing week seven over again, I saw a post by a coach I admire. She admitted to falling off the wagon, and said she never went back and re-did the missed or bad weeks. She just kept moving forward. So with that inind, I am officially starting week eight for good or bad!

Friday, May 15, 2015

Mother's Day Goal

When I started the 21 day fix almost six weeks ago, I set a goal with my challenge group that I have been working toward for quite awhile. The goal was to be a size 12 by Mother's Day. 

Why a size? I have been a 14 for almost two years, and it is frankly depressing. I know why I haven't moved down. The extreme fatigue and dizzy spells that started in 2013 really halted everything. I could exercise sporadically, because I just never knew when a spell would hit me. With the help of my fabulous naturopath I am slowly getting better, and I am close to finishing a second round of The Fix. 

Did I meet my goal? They are snug, but those capris are a 12. Next up? Starting a 90 day program. Cross your fingers and say a prayer for me.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Strawberry Planting Continues

Despite my inclination to skip my workout this morning, because I knew I was going to spend a lot of time in the garden today. Instead, I headed into the On Demand section to complete a challenge and do Fire 30. It really started my day off right, and I don't feel like I have given up on this 21 day challenge.

That said, I did end up spending an hour of active time in the garden today. I got the last of the five varieties of strawberries in the ground. That would be abut 25-30 plants per variety, and about four hours of work digging holes deep enough to keep our roots straight. Today I started on the tub of mammoth sunflowers. Only got nine in the ground. This is going to take awhile. Hopefully the tomatoes and peppers and herbs and all the other plant life grow a bit more slowly.


Sunday, May 3, 2015

Fabulous Friday

Can I tell you about my Thursday?

Wednesday evening my boss asks me to come in for a 5-9 am. After consulting with my family, I agreed to this. So I get home at almost 10:30. I put together my meals (breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack), and pack my boy's lunch for the following day. Then catch a shower and four hours of sleep. Yes, you read that right. Four hours of sleep.

I was up at 3:30 and out the door by 4:20. Then my boss provided fresh, like still warm from the oven with melty frosting, apple Danish. I ended up having two pieces. After work I rushed over to the base so I could get in day 3, week 1 of Ease into 5k done on the track. I had promised the boy to do it. I ended up getting 1.79 miles, and a pretty good average mph. And I was able to clean up, change, and scarf down a yogurt to clock in for a 10 a.m. start.

A nice day at work included a fantastic meal, and about 8 Jelly Belly Belly Flops. And more coffee. So tired I nearly passed out at work. Clock out at 6:30 to rush and get the boy and nephew from their youth group. Snack dinner of deli turkey, cheddar cheese and wheat thins in the car while waiting for them. No shake today, because by the time I made it home and through showers and homework I was ready to pass out.

So after about seven hours of sleep, and yesterday's Pilates Fix workout I am feeling much better. Big bowl of oats and coffee have been a great start to a fabulous Friday!