Pina Colada Fluff

So, the Monkey and I decided we would try several things from Pinterest. I have the ingredients for three items. We got to making one, because we had to pack him up for computer coding camp. Momma had a hard time leaving him there today, let me tell ya.

So for his last meal before living on a college campus for a week, I made him sloppy joes with fries and this pina colada fluff. He thinks even with some changes that he will still prefer green fluff (you know with pistachio pudding). I think we would drain the pineapple juice, and cut the coconut/marshmallows/pecans in half. We did make one change that would stay. Since we don't like vanilla pudding, we used white chocolate. Mmmmmm!

Wordless Wednesday: Mother's Day

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What makes a birthday?

The monkey had a friend party on Saturday, November 20th. He counted down all week, and decided it was his birthday because of the party. He even sang Happy Birthday to himself. When I pointed out that he was born on the 24th, he decided that was his "real" birthday. We went to see Tangled on his birthday, and I gave him the first of his gifts. By bedtime, he decided that he didn't turn six until he had his family party, which isn't until this Sunday. I think it is very confusing to the young as to when birthday's actually happen since you can't celebrate with a party on a Tuesday night during school time. A bit easier for summer birthdays in that respect, but still difficult.

The day you are born?

Or the day that you celebrate?

What do you think makes the memory? Is it a fixed date or simply the celebration of any important event?

Ice Skating

I grew up in southern-ish California where ice rinks are not exactly littering the ground. Heck not even much in the way of snow. When I was selecting colleges one of my criteria was that it be located in a locale that had four separate and distinct seasons. I ended up in Washington (state that is). In my sophomore year, I took a Jan Term ice skating course to meet one of my physical education requirements. I fell in love. It gave me time to think, and was just so soothing to me.



I haven't skated in about ten years for a variety of reasons. Today the monkey and I attended a skating party for one of his friends. It was great! I figured out how to skate again despite my increased girth, and I got to watch the monkey skate for the very first time. In about 45 minutes, he went from moving slowly with the bar to pushing the bar around to almost zooming around the rink without the bar. It was amazing!

2 and 30

According to child safety advocates and the American Academy of Pediatrics, age 2 and 30 pounds is the new 1 year and 20 pounds. Did that confuse you? In the past, the general rule was that a child should be turned forward facing when they hit one year old and reached 20 pounds. Recent research has determined that children are safer if they rear face until at least two years and 30 pounds or to the full limits of their seats (Article: Stay Rear Facing). I turned the boy around when he was 18 months and just barely over 20 pounds. A couple months later I was in a car accident that totaled my car, and required getting a new seat. I went to some knowledgeable people on babycenter for advice. When I got our new Britax Marathon a month later, I put that puppy in rear facing and that is how the boy has been until this past Sunday when he truly was to close to the top of the shell to stay that way. So at 3 years, 4 months, 3 weeks, 6 days and 30 pounds I flipped his car seat. That night as I was buckling him in he asked if I was happy that he was facing forward. I had to reply that it made me sad, because it meant that he was growing up. He patted my head in sympathy.

Last day rear facing

First official day of forward facing

Soap & Sass

Disclaimer: I am a parent who occasionally swats the hinney, puts the nose in a corner and yes will use soap.

Last week, Fric and Frac were at my mom's like usual. Unusually (at least at her house), they were using their toddler chairs as launching pads (read: jumping). She warned them three times and then took the chairs away. Fric (son) grabbed on to his and wouldn't let go. My mother suggested that he let go of the chair. He looked at her and said, "No, I suggest you let go." He was fairly promptly removed to the bathroom for one swipe of bar soap on his teeth. He really didn't like it. In fact within a couple of days, Frac (nephew) was doing or saying something that Fric thought would get him in trouble. He told Frac, "Don't sass T. You don't want that nasty, yucky soap." (story as close as possible to reality as one get when one wasn't there)

Then this past weekend, I was counting to three, which I seem to do a lot these days, and he looked at me after one and said, "Momma, I don't want you to count at me."

Not sure where I was going with this except for to vent a bit of my frustration with mr. sassy pants and his cousin. Who said three year olds were easier than two year olds? And people who have horror stories about four year olds, please don't share. I am only getting through this by thinking that things will be better when he is four. I like this fantasy world.

My Boy Turns 3!!

Can't really believe that it has been three years since he came out angry at the world, hollering for all he was worth. I love the little booger with all my heart and cherish each milestone he (and we) reaches. Even when they mark the end of something special (nursing) or mark one more safe day (still rear facing) or a new illness (yay we had croup for his birthday!). So a small photo essay of his birthday. Thanks for bearing with me.

Off on our special birthday adventure that included a haircut, lunch out & a trip to the park.














His birthday cake made by yours truly. My artistic skills, which are woeful, were greatly challenged by this endeavor. Did you know that they don't currently make a mickey mouse pan? And the ones on e-bay are way overpriced?














His table of gifts!













Doing what he does best, shoveling it in!













Playing with his new Mickey Mouse piano (from the Mickey Mouse Name that Tune toy!)



















And for memory lane purposes, a trip home from the hospital, at one and then at two. The time does fly.

His blue eyes still slay me, his sweet smile makes me want to grab him up and his sloppy kisses and hugs make me forget for awhile that he has turned into a mouthy three year old.

Halloween Memories

Yesterday was fun. Got a lot of funny looks at work, but I am okay with that. Been dressing up for years & I am not stopping now. Shared growing up memories this morning with a couple of people. Favorite costumes (definitely Princess Leia), treats (mom's popcorn balls with orange & black spice drops in them), and all the excitement & preparation that goes into one night of gathering candy.

The boy has been very excited about this night and his costume. He was very polite at each car, picked one piece of candy and said thank you. Had a good time riding this year's addition to trunk or treat, a spooky hay ride. All was fine until I took away his bucket o treats. He wanted it back so much that he threw himself on the ground & screamed/cried. Incidentally, this is not the first of such meltdowns. Just the latest in a string. Anyway, here a couple of photos from our evening. Hopefully next year won't be fraught with lack of naps, over stimulation, excess sugar & meltdowns. No need to laugh. I like that fantasy.

Am I awake?

Yesterday the boys got to go stay with the pastor's wife for the day. This was to enable mom time to get the house ready for guests & potentially get some yard work done as well. They were returned to mom's around 5:45 and we headed home around 6:30. A minute after getting an affirmative from both boys that they were hungry my sister looked in her rear view mirror to find two sleeping boys. Did I mention that they were up at 7:30 yesterday and hadn't had a nap?

T got up from his nap first around 8:30 and S followed about 9 p.m. They had a snack of fruit (oranges & watermelon), cheese and crackers with a side of water. We gave them a cool bath & got them into their jammies. When Grease 2 was over, we all headed to bed. It was five minutes shy of midnight when this happened. My bedtime is 9 p.m. with a wake up call of 5 a.m. I don't think I am awake at all, which makes being at work ineffective and getting home dangerous.

why I don't think weekends are relaxing

This past weekend started out alright. Nobody got hurt anyway. Sigh. Friday night was a disaster with T crying off & on, and S jumping & climbing on anything that stood in his way. We finally got to bed around 10:30. And were up again Saturday morning at 8 & 9. Luckily, I had time to pay the bills and go through the stack of mail that has been piling up for a month. We headed out for the park after a measly breakfast (actually meal provided was excellent, consumption was poor). Then we headed to my mom's for a snack & diaper change before heading home for naps. Decided to stay & help mom get ready for guests this week. Two and a half hours later both boys were asleep, and I had won my fight with T over him not needing or can't going nigh-night (with some help from grams). Forty five minutes later I heard my boy get up. All in all I wasn't very helpful. Went home for dinner after playing in the yard for a bit. We were doing real good. We had a bath & got in our jammies, read some books & headed to my room for nigh-night with our sippies of water & stuffed animal of choice. Then my boy knocked over a basket of bill paying stuff (that was theoretically out of his reach), and while I was cleaning up found the bottle of white out that had fallen out. I found him out in the living room painting his belly, legs, arms, jammies, and his new Elmo couch with the "powder". Then had to change him from the skin out & scrub him down. So much for a bath. It was after 10 when we finally got back into bed.

At 6:45 Sunday morning, T wakes up & before I can get him out of the room he wakes up S.
Breakfast of waffles & oranges & chocolate milk was followed by quick shower for this momma and the packing of the church bag, after church bag, and putting on of church clothes. Just as we are getting ready to leave, T had to have a bm. This made us late enough to church to miss part of the baby dedication ceremony. S had to go to the porch twice during service. Note this is not a good thing, and generally means said child is having a severe talking to. Headed home after church & put the boys all most immediately to bed. When I returned from the gathering of laundry (we still don't have a washer or dryer at our place & I am NOT going to the laundromat with 2 toddlers in tow by myself), I discovered that I was clearing a plot & planting green beans. Finished just about the time the boys woke up from their naps. Playtime, snacks, more time outs for various infractions for both boys, dinner (fresh lettuce from the garden), and then home for another 10 o'clock bedtime.

I am wiped, sore and stuffed up. Whoo hoo! I get to do this again next weekend!

Happy Anniversary!

It seems to me that I have neglected to celebrate a very important anniversary, and am going to rectify that right now. Just over three years ago, my opk indicated a surge, which meant that it was time to go in for my IUI. I called the clinic & gathered my stuff for the six hour drive. Everything had been different with my cycle this time, and I had high hopes for a successful outcome to this second procedure. After I was done, I headed home and proceeded to not think about anything pregnancy related at all. Until three weeks later when I started having heartburn all the time, and even then it wasn't until I had suffered for a week that it occurred to me to do anything about it. Had maybe an ounce of coffee & it sent me through the roof. Hauled my buns over to the campus health center to see what could be wrong. First question was, "Is there any chance you could be pregnant?" Well, duh. POAS and 10 minutes later I got my first positive test. I can't believe it was that long ago that I got my first "look" at my beautiful baby boy.

Mother to be or not to be?

I think God in her infinite wisdom set a variety of obstacles in my way to tell me that I am not yet ready to be the mother of 2 (or 3 if the online psychic is correct in that I will have twins next time).

My depression has been slowly growing I think since my move almost two years ago, and I finally got to the point to get on medication back in November of 2006. After a month on them, the doctor and I re-evaluated. As they really weren't working, we decided to set a date for weaning the boy and changing my meds. Well the boy is weaned (to my sorrow) and the date fast approaches for a change in my meds. I know that I need to give them a full year or so to get myself set to rights, which means my August plans are put on hold until next March.

It also isn't financially in the cards. I am having the hardest time making any of my ends meet. I am not sure how people do it, and as I don't own anything I can't file bankruptcy or get a second mortgage. I haven't saved one dime towards the cost of getting genetic father in a tube, let alone for the cost of the procedure(s).

Finally, there are the issues surrounding my indecision on having another child. I feel in my heart that there is another child out in the universe for me, but I look at my dear son & think I can't do this. I know he is two, but have mercy on me please. My mother would like me to choose a different genetic father to hopefully avoid some of his personality traits (and in the hopes of getting a girl). Then I think of the burden it would be to my mother who is my child care to take care of another child. She has said she could always say no, but I know she wouldn't. And what about the issues of intentionally choosing to raise 2 or more on my own? Can I afford it? Is it best for the children? I go round & round. I don't wonder that it is causing some of my stress and anxiety.

There is no easy answer to any of my issues I know. As a worrier by nature, I am making more out of this than is probably healthy for me or the boy. Wish I could make it all come crystal clear or my worry to become calm. Any ideas on how to make that happen?! sigh.

Weaning

When I was pregnant my hope was that breastfeeding would work & that we would make it to at least a year. He came out nursing like a champ, and I was a milk cow. We made it to one year, and I thought well let's just make it to two. At around 18 months, I stopped pumping and he did a switch over to regular milk during the days, and nursed at night & on weekends. By 20 months, we were down to only nighttime nursing. At 24 months, I decided that we would do child led weaning, and then I started taking Zoloft again. After a month, I went back for an evaluation and we decided the Zoloft really wasn't helping. Cue the need to wean as there are no other medications that can be taken while breastfeeding.

I started having nightmares in early January. They were horrible visions where I was being kept separate from Séamus. Someone or something was hiding him & preventing me from finding him. It was heartbreaking. Took me almost two weeks and a conversation with my friend in Texas to realize that they stemmed from having to wean the boy. I was afraid that this would separate us forever. It is a symbolic end to his babyhood. He is my great big boy, but this makes it more real in some way.

We have been working on it slowly with reducing the number of times a night he nurses and the duration of each session. It has been working. Tonight is the last night I will nurse my son. We are at a crossroads from which we can't turn back.

I have breastfed for 2 years, 3 months and 4 days. Au revoir my nursling.

Baby Model

Last night my sister & I took the boys to a casting call/screening for a modeling & casting agency. My mom saw the ad in the paper & we decided why not? When we finally got our turn, S handed his paper to the lady at the computer and I placed him on the big green x in front of the lady with the video camera. I had to step away & be quiet while she asked him questions. He did really well for about 3-4 minutes, and then walked away from her. She asked him his name (name saymus), where his nose was (he contemplated her for a bit before pointing), then where his ear was (he reached across and said "it's there" and then took the same hand to indicate his second ear and said "other one"), and then how old he was. Since he refuses to ever answer that question that was when he walked away. He did come back when the lady turned the camera viewing piece back around for Thomas to see himself. So they got a cute video of the two boys together. And........

They are both so dad-gum photogenic that they made it in. However, due to the cost both my sister & I are going to start saving up for the photo & agency fee. Hopefully, when they come back in four to six months my boys will become super baby/toddler models. If nothing else maybe a few jobs to get them further along in their college savings.

A few of his pin-up poses from the infant days.

Our announcement photo taken at about one week old.


Taken at about 6 weeks old wearing the sweater & booties set from Auntie Ruth, resting his head on the rott puppy (named Theo) from Auntie Bubba, and laying on the blanket from his Annie.


Taken laying on the blanket from Auntie Jamie and clutching his elephant lovey from Miss Janet at 4 months.


And lastly the close up photo taken just before we left for church & his baptism at 6 months old. His auma made his little sailor suit for him.

Month of Illness

Seems that we no sooner get over one thing and then it is another. The boy & I are both ill with colds. Great gobs of snot & hacking coughs. It is so bad that my boy took a slightly longer than 4 hour nap yesterday. Got up and ate a huge meal (meatloaf, french fries, pizza, mozzarella stick, zucchini stick, some fruit) and shared a bowl of ice cream with auma. Less than four hours later his mimi was going to bed. Séamus looks at her from the denim recliner and says, "Mimi go bed? I go bed." When asked if he wanted to go nigh-night, he got down from the chair & husseled himself into the room with a crib. Settled down & was gone within minutes. When I got home an hour later, he woke up for the trip home, but wanted to go nigh-night cib (crib) when we got home. No nursing if you can believe it. I took that opportunity to take a nice hot, steamy shower to relax, and followed it up with pain killers & cough syrup. He slept four hours by himself & only woke up briefly to come to my bed. As far as I know, he is still sleeping. I think this might have worn both of us out. Sad part is that I have heard that this particular cold/cough thing can last up to four weeks. Man, I am so not into that.

Mantra for the Mother of a Toddler

In the last week, we have had some lovely times the boy & I. For an example, last Friday we had to take my father to the airport. Séamus actually woke up about 20 minutes before we had to leave while I was getting ready. He said he wanted some juice, but when I went to get the juice he cried like I had hurt his feelings & told me he didn't want juice he wanted a snack (that was a runon sentence wasn't it my English teacher friends?!). Only to start crying again when I opened the cupboard to get one of his little bowls for fruit snack or peanut butter crackers (gave him a choice). He didn't want a snack, he wanted juice. We went around like this including forays into putting on his coat & hat and the ever popular I want to play not go routine. It ended with me standing at the front door while he walked away into the bedroom crying all the while. I had to go grab him up at that point or we would have been late. He cried all the way to the car where he both did & did not want to be in his car seat and did & did not want to help momma turn on the car (what I do while I wait for him to be ready for the car seat)

This is just a sample of our interactions recently, and I have to tell you that it is beginning to drive me completely insane. I keep repeating, "He is only two. This to shall pass." Doesn't work but I keep trying especially when I want to cry out, "Will it never end?!"

We have had a pleasent couple of days, and I am waiting for my little imp to turn back completely into my screaming monkey. Fingers crossed.

Banana Bread & Other Recent Adventures in Toddlerhood

I will share the most recent good & bad from our weekend. The boy brought me half a loaf of banana bread when I was in the bathroom. When I finished and came out, I discovered the plastic cutting knife from his new play set (he says, "cut apple?") on the counter, his rocking chair pushed up against the cabinets, and tiny bites taken out of the other three loaves of bread on the counter. Obviously he was trying to cut his own slice of bread and failing that just took what he wanted. Cute but also frustrating. Good thing I wasn't intending to give the fruits of my labor as holiday gifts.

Bad or more frustrating: Toddler attitude combined with his Irish temper on Sunday at nap time. I was changing his diaper (which took 20 minutes to pin him down for that one), and he kept telling me "shoes back on play". My response was the same each time. Not putting your shoes back on since you are going nigh-night. By the third repetition he got frustrated with me (hellooo, I am the grown-up!) and just cried/threw a fit.

Sometimes I wonder why I got into this mom thing to begin with, and then I feel his head on my shoulder & his arm wrapped around my neck. Man, I love being his mom!